Thor Does Not Forget
by RandomCheeses
Summary: SG-1 come across a weird energy source and Col.O'Neill gives the Doctor some bad news. Short, silly crossover.
1. Phonebox?

Disclaimer: These myriad characters doth not be mine.

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The being had been watching it's visitors for the better part of an hour. They were the first interesting thing to come along in ages. They were also completely unaware of the watcher's presence.

"I don't get it," the man with the graying hair said. Unconciously he readjusted the firearm he was carrying.

His bespectacled companion sighed in resignation. "There were Goa'uld here Jack," he explained, "but according to these records, something drove them out and then disappeared. Possibly a species with an advanced weapon of some kind."

"Yeah, you see that's it," the one named 'Jack' said suspiciously. "If this person or thing was powerful enough to drive out the Goa'uld, then where'd it go? Why didn't it stick around to accept thanks or go do the same for other planets, huh Daniel? Where is it?"

The one now identified as 'Daniel' shrugged. "Who knows? These records are very unclear, and in any case they appear to be incomplete. Looks like part of it was erased deliberately. Maybe an Ancient protected the people here? They're pretty good at hiding their tracks."

'Jack' scowled. "Except when they decide to grab your face with their Ancient-Brain-Suckers and download all their knowledge into my already overcrowded head."

"Uh, technically it was an automatic response to your Ancient DNA Jack," Daniel justified. "It's not like they _meant _to give you brain damage."

This piece of wisdom did not mollify the one called Jack. He continued to scowl, muttering swear-words under his breath. The watcher was impressed at the range of vocabulary he displayed.

The being watched with interest as another visitor entered his temporary prison. It was a tall, dark-skinned male with a peculiar golden symbol on his bald head. "O'Neill," he said formally to the grey-haired one, "Major Carter has found the source of the signal that the MALP recorded. It is most puzzling."

A blonde female entered behind the bald warrior. She seemed very excited about something, the watcher thought.

"It's a time-dilation field sir," she said in a rush, "it's very small and localised, centered around a. . ." she trailed off, unsure how to tell her superior exactly what she'd found.

"Well c'mon Carter," O'Neill said impatiently, "don't you want to share your report with the class?" Daniel rolled his eyes and the watcher wondered if the leader was always so childish.

Carter hesitated. "I'm sorry Sir, it's just so. . . odd."

Her CO gave her a surprised look. "Carter with everything we've seen over the last couple of years, what is so odd that my second-in-command can't describe it to me?"

Carter decided to rip off the metaphorical bandage and get it over with. "A phonebox Sir."

"What?"

"A phonebox," she repeated, feeling embarrased at the ridiculousness of it all. "It's blue." she added in a hopeful voice, as if describing more details would make her sound less crazy.

"Blue." The Colonel repeated in a flat voice.

"Yes Sir."

Daniel looked from Colonel to Major in confusion. "So, the Goa'uld were defeated by someone who carries a phonebox everywhere? My weirdness threshold has officially been expanded."

"Indeed" the bald warrior said, raising an eyebrow. "I was under the impression that phoneboxes were native to the Tau'ri. I have not yet visited another planet that has such appliances. This suggests recent contact between this planet and Earth."

Daniel shook his head. "No way." he protested, "the only ones through the Stargate in a hundred years were us. The Goa'uld haven't returned since they were driven out. The villagers mentioned that their 'Dak Ter' did something to prevent Goa'uld returning once they'd been driven out. And Teal'c did have a bit of trouble getting through the 'gate."

"Yes, that pole device scanned him in much the same way as Thor's Hammer did, back on Cimmeria." the blonde Major added. "I wonder why it didn't attack though?"

"Perhaps it was also adjusted, similar to the exception Thor's Hammer has for me," Teal'c opined.

Jack shook his head exasperatedly. He could feel a long scientific debate coming on. Not to mention a headache. "That's all very nice guys, but it doesn't explain the time-sucking field around a blue phonebox!" He looked at his SIC. "Was there anything inside the box?"

Carter shrugged. "Couldn't get it open sir. But at the very least there's some kind of time-_dilation_ device in there. Maybe we should try using C-4 to get it open?"

The watcher was forever grateful that the secondary dilation field that had imprisoned him in frozen invisibility for the last hundred years chose that moment to evaporate. To the four members of SG-1 he suddenly appeared as if by magic. "Are you bloody mad?" he demanded. "You're not putting explosives anywhere _near_ my Tardis!"

SG-1 stared at the wild-haired skinny man in collective amazement, automatically bringing their guns up. Then Jack narrowed his eyes at the man. "Tardis." he said to himself quietly, as if remembering something. To the surprise of his team O'Neill lowered his weapon and held out his hand. "Nice to meet you Doctor," he said, shocking the slender man. "Next time I see Thor I'll tell him you said hi."

The Doctor grinned at him, shaking the proffered hand. A friend of Thor's! Pretty good luck, considering. The Doctor's knowledge of the Great Exploration was a bit limited, at odds with his usual encyclopaedic knowledge of Earth's history. He'd never been that interested in getting involved in anything to do with the Alterans and their dangerous stargates. He noticed the grey-haired man was smirking slightly at his recognition of Thor. The Doctor blinked in confusion for a second. Then it hit him. "Oh. . ."

"Yeah," O'Neill grinned, "he's still waiting to collect on that bet."

"Really" the Doctor sighed, "it's been a hundred years. I thought he'd have forgotten by now."

"Nope" O'Neill said happily.

"Bugger."

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Review? Please with sugar on top?


	2. Planet of Red Walls

Disclaimer: If I found it necessary to tell you that I don't own Doctor Who I'd be insulting your intelligence. So I'm not going to tell you.

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Two figures walked down a long deserted hallway. A blue glow came from the end of the hallway behind them, making shadows dance and flicker.

"So." said the shorter one in the tone of a person waiting for a long promised explanation.

"Yes?" inquired the taller one innocently.

"I take it we're on the Planet of Curving Red Walls then?"

"Well, actually this is the planet Othala in the galaxy of Ida."

"Uh huh. And why are we here again?" The shorter being's patience appeared to be wearing thin.

"Uhrmm. . . " the taller cleared his throat noisily, "because I was recently reminded that I owe an old acquaintance a favour."

"You're talking about last week, aren't you? When I went home for a few days and you said you were only going to Tesco for milk and then you'd come straight back and pick me up." The other being paused. "Except you said the Tardis took a detour and you got frozen in a block of ice for a century."

"It was a time-dilation field, not a block of ice!" the older being protested.

"Whatever. Why do you owe someone here a favour anyway?" the shorter sentient asked curiously.

The taller of the two beings attempted to look dignified. "As it happens, I made a misjudgement to do with a wager."

His companion blinked and then smirked. "Lost a bet, you mean?" She paused. "And you're plagiarising Discworld again, by the way. You should feel ashamed."

The older being favoured his companion with a brief scowl. "It's not plagiarism. It's a form of flattery!," he protested.

"Sure, whatever you say." The female continued to smirk and the taller being glared in exasperation. "Anyway," the female said, changing the subject. "What was with the upright puddle back there?"

The male sighed and then spoke very quickly in the manner of one who does not want to repeat himself. "It's called a stargate. It's a stable wormhole allowing travel to other planets and it was built thousands of years ago by a race called the Alterans. And that's all I'm going to say on the matter."

"Why?" the younger being asked in surprise.

The older man scowled. "Because I have a deep-rooted dislike and disapproval for those neglectful, short-sighted idiots and if I start telling you about it now I won't be finished before next year."

The girl blinked. "That bad are they?" she asked.

"Pompous twits!" the man said shortly, suddenly striding determinedly down the hallway, forcing the girl to run in order to catch him up.

"Look who's talking. . ." she muttered under her breath.

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Er. . . I need sugar I think. Review pretty please?


	3. Should've gone with SG1

Do not own Doctor Who or Stargate.

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Two shivering figures staggered towards the Tardis. Both looked as though they'd just been dragged through a hedge backwards. And then run over by a truck.

"Well!" the smaller female one said sarcastically, "_that_ was a lot of fun!"

Her compatriot declined to comment, digging miserably into his pocket for the Tardis key. Having successfully acquired said key, he quickly turned it in the lock. And then turned it again. And again.

"Uh, Doc? Why isn't the key working?" the young woman asked in confusion.

The Doctor shook his head like a wet dog, dislodging earth from his hair and spraying his companion with water droplets. In revenge, she poked him hard in the kidneys. Or at least, where kidneys would be if he were human.

The Doctor let out a high pitched yell of disapproval. "Yeowch! What did you go and do that for? That hurt!"

"The _key_, Doctor," the girl stressed. "Why isn't it working?"

A rather sheepish expression crossed the Doctor's face and he took a sudden keen interest in the ceiling. "Sheduznwanletsin" he muttered in embarrasment.

"What?" his companion said, looking more angry by the minute. "What did you say?"

The Doctor sighed in defeat. There was no escaping it. "I said she doesn't want to let us in," he admitted.

"She what?!" his companion shouted, her face going red underneath the mud. "Why?!"

It was the Doctor's turn to go red, although in his case it was caused by embarrasment instead of anger. "Because we're covered in sticky muck" he told her.

"Okay, that does not make sense. We get covered in dirt all the time, thanks to your disastrous destination choices. What's so bad about this time?"

"This mud is a little different" the Doctor explained, hoping to keep a lid on his friend's impressive temper. "The Tardis is. . . well, she's sort of allergic to it, to be honest. But only while it's wet. As soon as it dries we can go in and get back to earth for a bath. Can't have one in the Tardis 'cos that would make the old girl ill."

The Doctor's companion was not impressed with this information. "The Tardis is allergic to this planet's mud?" she queried disbelievingly.

"Yes." he confirmed. "Which is exactly why I've been finding excuses not to come here for so long. You didn't really think I was just trying to avoid holding up my end the bet with Thor, did you?"

"Well. . . actually. . ."

The Doctor scowled at his companion, who grinned back in amusement. "Gotcha Doc."

"You did not!" he defended himself.

"Did too!" she riposted.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not times infinity!" he said, ending the increasingly juvenile argument.

The young woman slid to the ground with a sigh. "I knew I should've taken up the offer to go home on the Asgard ship with those SG-1 guys." she said regretfully. "That Dr. Jackson was really cute too."

The Doctor gave a her a look of disapproval. "He's more than ten years older than you, you know," he pointed out, disgruntled.

"Says the nine-hundred year old man." she pointed out. "Hypocrite."

The Doctor spluttered in denial of this observation. His companion yawned and then sighed in resignation. "Well," she said, "since we're gonna be here for a while, you may as well explain something that I've been wondering about since we got here."

The Doctor perked up at the chance to display his wealth of knowledge. "Go on then, ask me anything!"

"Why are all the Asgard naked? And how come there aren't any young Asgard? Don't they have kids?"

"Uhh. . . you know what, you should really ask Thor any questions you might have."

"Chicken. I knew I should've gone with the SG-1 guys. They were cool." The girl sighed again, wistful.

"And of course, Dr. Jackson was really cute." the Doctor said acerbically.

"Yep. That too."

"I give up. Remind me never to bet against Thor again."

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Finito! The bet between the Doctor and Thor will have to remain a mystery, because I'll never think up anything good enough to match expectations. Feel free to make up your own mind. As for who the companion is, feel free to pick whichever one you like best and pretend it's them.


End file.
